News writing: writing great quotes
by Joanna Liu, Editor-in-Chief of Voice K

When I first introduced news writing to a group of 7- to 15-year-old students, I talked about the importance of using good quotes in their stories. Then when their assignments were due, I found many articles that looked like transcripts, consisting of several very long quotes.

I find writing quotes to be the most challenging concept for a young writer to comprehend. That is totally understandable, because writing good quotes is one of the most challenging aspects of journalism writing. I am also constantly reading and learning to write better quotes myself, so I gathered some tips that I found useful. Most tips are selected points from Bob Baker’s blog on a vocabulary list for editors and reporters on which I’ve expanded a little, and added some examples.

What is a quote in news writing?

A quote is written words copied from a text or speech. Basically it is about recording what people have spoken. A quote is different from a transcript; while a quote is often embedded in the story to illustrate a point, a transcript is just a record of exactly what is said.

A news article sometimes needs quotes because:

1. It repeats the exact words people said and reduces the mistakes in reporting.
2. It can give readers different point of views while the writer stays neutral.
   
3. It can make your story lively and make readers feel like they are at the event themselves.  

Although quotes can make a story come to life, overuse of or poorly chosen quotes can also kill a good story. Here are some points to remember:

KEEP ‘EM SHORT AND POWERFUL

Bob Baker’s blog on a vocabulary list for editors and reporters said that we should think of quotes as the spices, the seasoning in your story. You should avoid having your sources drone on and on. A great tip to write a short, powerful quote is to use the ones you remember off the top of your head, and then check for accuracy later. These quotes are usually more emotional, leaving a permanent mark on reader’s mind. 


Your quote should not be more than 3-4 lines long. 

The other long, rambling, vague, or obvious quotes should be cut off or paraphrased.


DON’T ANNOUNCE THE QUOTE:

Announcing a quote is a waste of space and the reader’s time.

Example: Jonathan said that he could not remember the last time he got a good grade, “I’ve not gotten anything better than a C in many years,” he said.

It is repetitive. If you are going to tell your story in a quote, then let your quote do the job. If you think it is better to paraphrase or summarize it, then do so without the quote.


AVOID TALKING HEADS

Talking heads are faceless, personality-less people, speaking quotes in a story. We usually get a name, a title and a long, pointless quote from the talking heads. Some writers include them to show different reactions or convince an editor that many people were interviewed.

For example:

“I really like the rides here,” 6-year-old Jason Smith said.

“This is a great festival before school starts, I will come next year,” said Jason’s mom.

“I volunteer because it is fun and to gain some experience,” said Jenny Worth, a volunteer at the festival.

As Baker’s article phrases it: “Reading one of these stories is like going to a big party and shaking hands with 100 people, but getting to know no one.”

So the best practice is to go back and search for those most memorable moments, then develop those moments into a great quote with great description.  

For example:

“I really like the rides here,” says 6-year-old Jason Smith as he charges into the bouncy arena with his balloon sword. This is Smith’s first time playing at a bouncy castle. He will be entering Grade 1 in September, and his mom thinks the festival is a great way to kick off a new school year.


CHANGE OUT-OF-TIME QUOTES TO IN-TIME QUOTES

Out-of-time quotes are quotes spoken to a reporter. The reader is reminded that he is reading a newspaper story. IN-TIME quotes make the reader feel in the midst of the story as it happened.

Example:

“The mayor told me right before his speech that he had forgotten his notes,” press secretary Bob Berg said.

An in-time quote about the same moment would read:

“Goddamn it,” the mayor muttered to his press aide moments before the speech began, “I forgot my notes.” (example from a vocabulary list for editors and reporters)

I hope these tips help. Here is a little assignment: try to rewrite the paragraph / quotes below to get rid of the long quotes:

“What inspired you to be in the race?” I asked.

“My dad and I used to always go rowing when I was your age and we did the same in Boy scouts too.” Hudson says. I asked him about the most challenging part of the dragon boat race. “The important part about racing is that everyone has to be in sync and you have to make sure you gotta listen to the man in the back and everyone on the boat has to know his instructions so you wanna start paddling very hard at the start, slow down in the middle, and then pick up at the end and you always have to be in sync. So that’s the hardest part.”(example from a young journalist)

See ourdragon boat race article to read the final version.

How to use dictionaries to become a better writer
by Joanna Liu (Editor-in-Chief) 

In the movie Flash of Genius, the main character, Dr. Robert Kearns, made a convincing argument against Ford Motor Company at trial, using Charles Dickens’ “Tale of Two Cities.” The scene describes the concept of creativity as arranging available tools into a new pattern. English is a simple and elegant language. Good writing is not determined by how many difficult words you can use, but rather by how you group simple words together.

I recently read an article about how John McPhee, pioneer of creative non-fiction, often looked up the words he knew, rather than the words he didn’t.  I thought that was an extremely interesting concept.

My mother once told me that as a young child, she would just read the dictionary for hours, reading the definitions and learning how to use each phrase precisely. I never really understood the value of a good dictionary until recently.

Here are some ways you can use dictionaries to practice your writing skills. I found this a beneficial practice for my young journalists and creative writing students.

Usage #1: Replace a word with its definition

In some dictionaries, words can be defined so sophisticatedly that there is almost a poetic rhythm. In the article “You’re probably using the wrong dictionary,”   the author James Somers introduced the secret weapon that John McPhee used ─ Webster’s dictionary of 1828 and 1913 version.

First, I check the definition of a simple word, such as “cold.” Next, I find one definition that best describes my usage. Then, I get inspiration from the definitions and replace the word with parts of the definition.

Cold: Lacking the sensation of warmth; suffering from the absence of heat; chilly; shivering; as, to be cold.

Original Sentence: He felt cold. He shivered.

New Sentence: Suffering from the absence of heat, he shivered.

Play: Amuse oneself by engaging in imaginative pretense

Original Sentence: The kids were playing House.

New Sentence: The kids engaged themselves in the imaginative pretense of being parents.

Jump: push oneself up off the ground by the muscular action of the feet and legs

Original Sentence: He jumped up.

New Sentence: He kicked his feet and pushed himself into the air as hard as he could.

Usage #2 Look up the example sentences given on a good dictionary.

As I mentioned earlier, a good dictionary gives great examples. If you search the word “part” in dictionary.com, you get one definition and a following example sentence like this:

Part (Noun) 
a portion or division of a whole that is separate or distinct; piece, fragment, fraction, or section; constituent: the rear part of the house; to glue the two parts together.

Part (verb used with object) 
to go apart from or leave one another, as persons: We'll part no more.

It is hard to get any inspiration from an example sentence like those above because a modern dictionary’s aim is to explain words in our modern language concisely and clearly, so examples are simple and easy to understand.

However if you looked up “part” in the Webster 1913 version, you will find:  

Part:

1. One of the portions, equal or unequal, into which anything is divided, or regarded as divided; something less than a whole; a number, quantity, mass, or the like, regarded as going to make up, with others, a larger number, quantity, mass, etc., whether actually separate or not; a piece; a fragment; a fraction; a division; a member; a constituent.

I am a part of all that I have met. Tennyson.

5. To separate by a process of extraction, elimination, or secretion; as, to part gold from silver.

The liver minds his own affair, . . . And parts and strains the vital juices. Prior.

6. To leave; to quit. [Obs.]

Since presently your souls must part your bodies. Shak.

Now you see how reading the right dictionary is like studying from literature’s finest masters! Does your dictionary give example sentences from English poets like Matthew Prior, Alfred Tennyson and William Shakespeare?

Usage #3 - Don’t use the Thesaurus blindly. Check the definitions of each and find the exact meaning.

I generally don’t mind my students using a Thesaurus to find a better word, but sometimes they think changing a simple word with a difficult one is always better. So they blindly search for a synonym without knowing the difference between each word.  In John McPhee’s article, Draft No. 4, he said exactly what I have been trying to tell my writers,

“In the search for words, thesauruses are useful things, but they don’t talk about the words they list. They are also dangerous. They can lead you to choose a polysyllabic word and a fuzzy word when a simple and clear one is better. The value of a thesaurus is not to make a writer seem to have a vast vocabulary of recondite words. The value of a thesaurus is in the assistance it can give you in finding the best possible word for the mission that the word is supposed to fill.”

If you look up the word “understand’ in Thesaurus, you find “apprehend,  realize, recognize, interpret, conceive, sense, accept, be aware of, figure out, catch on…”

To know which word to use, you should check the meanings of each in a dictionary. Let’s try to figure out the difference between apprehend, conceive and interpret.

Apprehend: To take or seize; to take hold of with the understanding

Conceive:  To form in the mind; to plan; to devise; to generate; to originate; as, to conceive a purpose, plan, hope.

Interpret: To explain or tell the meaning of; to expound; to translate orally into intelligible or familiar language or terms; to decipher; to define

Each word is different and unique. Each can replace “understand” in a unique situation.

I cannot understand this difficult concept -> I cannot apprehend this difficult concept.

I understood the idea one day in my sleep -> I conceived the idea one day in my sleep.

I can’t understand the meaning of his last words -> I can’t interpret the meaning of his last words.


Finding the right word is important. In writing ─ and in many other professions ─ accuracy is what separates masters from amateurs.

The importance of accuracy in language usage is amplified when working with ESL students. One of my students wanted to say the “water is clear (transparent) and sparkling,” but instead wrote “the water is clean and glowing.” Grammatically, the sentence is correct, and we can guess what the student is trying to say. However, the writing is not conveying the idea the student wanted.

When students’ parents ask me what their child can do to write better, I usually tell them to work on vocabulary and literary devices. Too often I hear parents say, “My child has a great vocabulary, she reads a lot. She just needs to improve other writing techniques.” I tend to advise them that vocabulary is not just about how many words you know, it is about knowing how to use them in a manner that is precise and innovative.

I hope these tips can help anyone like me who is aiming to be a better writer, encouraging you to reexamine each word you use, and to make your dictionary your best friend again.  

2. Address people appropriately and sign off your name

An email without a proper address looks rude and rushed. When you send out an email, you need to know who your audience is. If you are talking to your friend, you may be casual with a “Hey George,” to start. If you are talking to your teacher, you may start with “Hello Ms. McLean,”

When you finish your email, it is best to sign off with your name and title, so your reader knows exactly who you are.

For example:

George Wu

Your Journalist Training Student –Richmond Hill

 
3. Specify date, time, location and event

When you are writing an email talking about a specific date, time, or event, you need to make sure the content of your email remind people about it. Lack of any specific information may confuse your reader or make it look like a spam.

Bad Example:

Hello Joanna,

I would like to go to the kite event, please sign me up!

George.

Good Example:

Hello Joanna,

I would like to sign up for the Burlington Kite Festival event on Sunday, June 2, 2013, located at Brant Hills Community Park. I am planning to arrive at 11:00 am. Please let me know if I have got the spot at your earliest convenience.

Thank you.

George Wu.

4. Specify the response you want

Sometimes, you want include a call-to-action at the end of your email, whether it is booking an appointment or asking for advice. You need to be as specific about your request.

Bad Example:

Hello Joanna,

Did you get my article from last week? Please check!

Thanks.

 Good Example: 

Hello Joanna,

Have you received my article regards to the Zombie Walk in Toronto? I sent it out on Friday, Nov 1st. I would like to know your views on it. Can we talk about it after our next training seminar on Sunday, Nov. 9. Please let me know if this would work.

Thanks,

George.

 

5. Proofread and edit before you hit send

It is always good to proofread your email before you send, this will avoid simple mistakes. The first place to look is always the name of the recipient. Make sure the names are spelled correctly.  Then check your grammar, avoid simple mistakes such as misspelling “there” as “their”.

Example: 

By Edward Wang (Age 8) 


Josh was born in Barcelona. He is a “brave” 17-year-old teenager. His parents were so surprised when he was born: he already had lots of hair! Josh has blue eyes, white skin and green hair. He has a big secret that only his best friend, Jake, knows. 


No matter what the weather is like, he always wears a red jacket and black pants. When he travels from one country to another, he always goes by helicopter. No matter what he needs to do, where ever he is, he will never leave Jake alone. He was successful at robbing eight banks in Italy and twelve in the United States. He has also escaped jail. 


Just for emergencies, he keeps a pet lion at his secret laboratory. He sometimes says to himself, “I will get a pet shark one day！”Josh thinks he will never ever get caught by the police. Every morning, he tells his minions to rob as many banks as they can. In the meantime, he builds more and more weapons as well as robot minions. If the cops ever found him, he would call his flame dragon and minions to attack the cops. Not many people know about Josh’s true identity, but his minions say he rocks！

      

Plagiarism is stealing somebody else's ideas and writing by pretending they are your own.  Plagiarism is copying an idea from an existing source.

Examples of plagiarism:

·         Turning in someone else's work as your own

·         Copying words or ideas from someone else without giving credit

·         Failing to put a quotation in quotation marks

·         Giving incorrect information about the source of a quotation

·         Changing words but copying the sentence structure of a source without giving credit

• Copying so many words or ideas from a source that it makes up the majority of your work, whether you give credit or not

How to prevent plagiarism:

• DO NOT copy and paste any information directly from a source
  
• When getting your information from online sources, you must put the information in your own words (paraphrase)
• Be sure to credit all websites, magazines, and newspapers that are used to help you find information
• When you are interviewing subjects, be sure to write down detailed and correct information, and make sure to credit who said what
• When you are including quotes in your story, make sure you recorded the quotes properly otherwise it could be considered misleading information
• If you are ever in doubt about possible plagiarism, always credit your sources
  
  

Consequences of plagiarism:

Most schools will fail the student on their assignment if they are caught plagiarizing, or possibly even suspend them. In college, you can be expelled from your school. Once you get expelled from one school, it is very difficult to get into another.

For more information on plagiarism visit: http://plagiarism.org/

Using Transition Words in Sentences:

Transition words are used in sentences when:

• Adding information (Another, also, first, second, third, in addition, and, beside, furthermore, moreover, etc.)

　　Example:Brian likes playing sports and being outdoors.

• Making a conclusion (In conclusion, to sum up, to conclude, finally, etc.)
  

　　Example: To sum up, everyone has the responsibility to protect the earth.

• Repeating information (In fact, in other words, once again, to repeat, etc.)
  

　　Example: Once again, Tommy had a temper tantrum.

• Showing a comparison (like, likewise, similarly, in comparison, as in, etc.)
  

　　Example:Like her mother, Katie loved baking．

• Showing a difference (but, in contrast, rather than, unlike, though, yet, although, however, etc.)
  

　　Example:Matt likes playing outside rather than doing his homework.

•  Showing time (after that, later, next, then, now, still, while, following, before, the next day, soon, in time, etc.)

        Example: Steve went to the car, but his dog is still outside in the park. 

• Showing cause (because, caused by, because of,  since,etc.)
  

       Example: Jason was excited to see his dad because he hasn't seen him for months!
       Example: John found it hard to make new friends since he moved. 

• Showing Effect (as a result, that is why, therefore, for this reason, consequently, etc.)
  

       Example: We all dislike being outside in this weather, therefore we decided to have the party inside instead. 

Transitional sentences are used in a similar way that we use transitional words. When we write a story, we separate our thoughts with paragraphs. Each paragraph has its own idea, but we still need to be able to connect them all together using transition sentences. Transition sentences can be placed at the end of the first paragraph, or at the beginning of the second one, or both.

Example:

It was Sandy's 6th birthday and she was ready for her big party! Sandy's mom decorated the house with ribbons and balloons, and stacked beautifully wrapped gifts on the table. Her mom also bought a cake that was beautifully decorated with flowers, and had Sandy's name printed on the top with bright yellow frosting. Sandy and her friends ate cake and played lots of games. Although Sandy was tired from her fun-filled day, her mom had another birthday surprise waiting for her outside. (Use transitional sentence to connect the first paragraph with the next. )

Sandy's eyes were covered with her mom's hands as she was led outside to the driveway to see her one last gift.  Her mom removed her hands and Sandy gasped at the site of a brand new bicycle. She wanted a new bike without training wheels for a long time and she finally got it! Sandy told her mom that this was the best birthday ever!